Today is my first day to start writing a blog. It's a long time for me not to share my life's experience in writing, because I used to share it in my diary, and yes blog is a e-diary for everyone, nice that finally I make my own.
My blog name is "Pulpylicious", sounds weird isn't it ? I choose Pulpylicious because I love a drink name "Pulpy", it taste sweet and surprising cause there's an orange pulpy in it. Same like me, sweet and always have a surprising part that people never thought before.
Actually there's another meaning for "Pulpylicious". I have an Ex-Boyfriend who loves to drink pulpy very much, then one day I start to call him "Pulpy" and I suddenly love that word for sure.
I know my relationship with my Ex is already over, but I still do the same habit like I did when I still be his girlfriend. yeah, we start to talk about love and my experience about it.
This person name "Anak Agung Bagus Angga Sudewa" and I started to know him about 3 years ago. I know him from my cousin, cause he's one of my cousin's best friends. I don't remember why I was so excited to know more about him, all I know that he was a nice friend and I'm comfortable to be around him.
Time goes by so fast and I finally decided to be his girlfriend. At the beginning of our relationship, I'm not so sure that this relationship could last longer than 2 months, cause I'm not a kind of loyal person in relationship.
2 months passed and he proved me wrong, cause we were still be together. More times passed by and we finally reach our 1st year anniversary. Our love become stronger than before also new experience I had from this relationship. Those happy moments with him will still stay and playing in my head sometimes.
At that time around, I felt that maybe I've found someone in my future, spending a whole time with him never bored me, instead of make me more addicted to him. Then I finally said that I want to be his wife, his future and a mother for our children. We looked up for alternatives to find a way for a marriage, although we already knew that there were no way existed for us, but we hold on together. I promise to myself that I would spend much time to be with him as long as we could be together. so what will you call a love like that ?
One and a half year passed, we still hold on together, but our relationship isn't as good as before, we fight a lot. hits and slaps, many times he did that to me. I asked myself again, is he really my future ? lots of doubt there and I'm afraid if I won't be with him.
A beautiful night to be spent together with him. It was like stars and the moon staring to us and envy us. I felt like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world because he completes me. But it wasn't as beautiful as I though, because at that night he also broke me up, ended our relationship. ooh, I wish it never be ended.
Two years passed for keeping our promises to be in touch each other, and I still feel bounded by him, by my own feeling for him. It feels so sick, knowing that he gets closer to another woman when we were together and I couldn't do nothing but listening and feeling hurt inside. I'm abused by this feeling. I wish that God sent me a death angel and take me away. The worst part is he looked so innocent with this condition.
Now I already can live better without him. But It still hurt me sometimes. I have to realize that we couldn't be together. Because love won't always have each other. I hope he will feel happy with his choice and find a better woman than me. And me ? I still have to reach my career.
This is for you "babiii". You know, there will always a space in my heart for you and for our memories.
- love love, anggie -
